Who needs validated?

Validation Station

So somehow I stumbled across the above video years ago, and I cried. And when I rewatch it, I cry still. As someone who probably seeks out more validation then I should (see How Many Tickets is That?), seeing others’ need for validation sparked something deep inside of me.

That said, as much as I like receiving validation, I’m never shy about giving it away either. I compliment people ALL THE TIME! And I’m sincere in the compliments I give. I don’t ever compliment someone just to be kind, but I usually am kind by naturally finding something to compliment – the shape of that guy’s nose, that girl’s eyebrow arch, the toe nail polish on that preteen, the dimples on that toddler. I once chased a man out of the DMV just to tell him how beautiful I thought he was. And I have found that just like in the video, something happens to people, particularly strangers, when you take the time to genuinely acknowledge their presence. People long to be seen in their details.

The Ask

I thought it might be fun to partner up with a friend, and remix the above with a Scare Your Soul twist. I summoned up the courage to ask bad ass Scott Simon, founder of Scare of Your Soul, if he wanted to play along (see Make the Awkward Ask). Of course he was game, because well he’s Scott. We rounded up a few other community playmates, Tim and Tina Snider- owners of Arabica Coffee House in Downtown Willoughby, and new friend Harrison, a videography student, and crafted our own feel good event.

We opted for simplicity – a table outside the coffee shop, some chairs, a bouquet of balloons, and two questions for passers-by.

The Questions

1. What is something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t yet done?
2. What can you do in the next 24 hours to move you closer to that goal?

The Answers

The Validation

Once people shared their goals/dreams/aspirations with us – and they ranged from taking the dog for a walk to passing the Bar Exam – we validated their answers with a free cup of coffee courtesy of our amazing friends at Arabica (it’s my favorite third place – read more about it here).

The One that Struck Me Most

One young woman (who choose not to be filmed) came up to the table and when asked what she wanted to do that she hadn’t yet done. I wasn’t quite prepared for her answer- – the delicacy of it.

“To be honest with my therapist…”

To be a witness to that sort of self-exposure, that type of transparent truth felt important.

She had, it seemed, validated herself and all the rumble tumble, mismatched, not entirely understandable things that make us happy sad mad confused scared humans.

She validated the importance of mental health, and the tools we use to help ourselves heal.

All in six words. And all because she was brave enough to walk up to a table of strangers and share.

The Next Dream Validation Station

Catch us for a repeat of this event Sunday, September 12 from 9-11 outside Arabica.